Brigette Watches Parenthood, S6/Ep05: "The Scale of Affection is Fluid"

What we learned this week on Parenthood:

1) Julia's boyfriend wants to "out" them, and he doesn't regularly buy groceries.
2) Joel has really bad timing and hates basketball.
3) Jasmine won't let Crosby ride his motorcycle.
4) Zeek almost fell on a treadmill.
5) Drew is now the official relationship guru for Amber.
6) Max likes a girl at a 5 and she likes him at a 2.5.
7) Where the heck was Sarah?

Let's begin at #1. Adam has annoyed me many times in the past, but never has he been this stupid. HE wants to hang out with Julia's boyfriend, for some reason, so he demands the guy come in the house knowing full well that Julia's CHILDREN are there. Having your kids meet your boyfriend--even if you just introduce him as a "work friend"-- is a really big deal, and Adam should be smarter than to decide for Julia when that moment should happen. I also really don't understand why he was so eager to bring Boyfriend into the fold. Relationship transitions in families are usually kind of depressing and require much adjustment time, but okay.

I get why Joel was mad about all of this and why he hates the boyfriend and everything the boyfriend stands for. I AM confused though as to how--in the short time that's supposed to have passed since last season--Joel seems to want Julia back. I can't tell if this is realistic, since people's perspectives/minds often change after getting some distance, or if the writer's didn't know how to make this leap, so they just didn't.

#3: What is with this motorcycle storyline? Why do we keep going back to it? I get that Crosby is taking his Dad's illness particularly hard. Zeek basically IS Crosby, just on the opposite side of the coin, thirty years older, but I thought the motorcycle crash was just a dramatic moment in the surgery episode.  Right after that one aired, my friend texted me, "I think Crosby's going to die from internal bleeding." Now a few episodes later, I'm like, this is probably impossible, but maybe she's right. Maybe it's a slow bleed. Just kidding. (Am I?) The motorcycle probably has to do something with Crosby's "freedom" and Jasmine "grounding" him. Or maybe it's nothing at all. Maybe everyone's just wasting their time with it, including me.

But seeing Zeek trip on the treadmill-- that was upsetting not just for Crosby, but for us all. The aging process is sad and terrifying, and watching it happen to your parents is morbid as all get out. Still, Zeek is just lucky that it wasn't worse….

Harrison vs. The Treadmill. Never forget. #Dexter

#5: Drew wisely told Amber not to get back together with her ex just because she's having his baby, and now he wisely told her not to keep the baby a secret from hipster coffee house boy with a Holden Caufleild-esque touch of gray. Poor Drew, this kid, between his sister and his mom and the abortion. Oy.

Okay, Amber was dumb for thinking she should keep her pregnancy a secret from Holden Coffehouse. What was her plan, exactly? "Maybe he'll fall so in love with me that he won't care that I'm having someone else's kid!" Really, girl? And was I the only one who was aware that she sort of lied when she finally did tell him the truth? The father isn't in the picture at all? She's doing this on her own? I'm sorry, I thought she and Ryan agreed to not be a couple, but I distinctly remember Ryan saying he was going to be in the baby's life and Amber saying that was great. She basically acted like the baby daddy was a ghost, but uh, once the baby comes, Ryan will most likely be very much alive.

#6: I can't tell if the scene where Zeek, Adam, and Crosby talk to Max about Dylan was cute or horrifying. Is it normal to talk to your grandpa about his libido? For your uncle to go through a list of what all the "bases" mean? All in front of your dad? I don't know. Maybe it is normal, but a family conversation like that would have made me cry. Anyway.

I think all of this will play out a little differently than how Christina thinks. An unexpected touch of sensitivity and tactfulness seemed to come across Dylan's face when she realized that Max was telling her he liked her, and after his, "I've got a decade to change your mind" statement, she made the point of telling him that he went up by 0.5 on her like scale. A statement that implies you're in it for the long-haul is always the way to a girl's heart. I'm not saying I think they'll fall totally in love, but I wouldn't be surprised if something happens with the two of them.

What did you think about this week's episode and all of this biddness? I wanna know!